Saturday Jan. 10th
Woke up at 9 am (!!!) and checked on my flight, secretly hoping it was canceled and wouldn't have to start getting ready right away, I couldn't handle the fact that I was leaving. Procrastinated getting ready, wrote Thank you and miss you notes then went upstairs to have the most delicious homemade crepes with Alex and Jules courtesy of Farida (Jules' mama aka best cook in the world). After Tony P. mistakened Peters briefs for my underwear (seeing as they were relatively tiny, could've happened to anyone) and listening to the extremely playful bickering amongs
t the fam I started to already get a little homesick for the Warren house. I start to wish (no offense mom) that twenty-three years ago I could have been born half-Egyptian half-Polish so I'd be no-doubtably part of this family.
I am driven to the airport by Tony, accompanied by Jules and Evan...gave goodbye hugs...got into my seat on the plane and immediately passed out...an hour later I was in DC. Seeing as I had a layover for almost 8 hours, I had arranged to meet my cousin Alfonso downtown for dinner. After taking a shuttle to the main airport, a shuttle to the subway station, took the Orange line to the Red line to Chinatown (jeez!) & we met up for food at Chop't...after catching up on the holidays/our lives (we hadn't seen each other in a
year), I took the long ride back to the airport and got to my gate just as we were boarding. I luckily had "economy plus," and two empty seats next to me!! Part of the eleven hour flight was recorded deliriously around 4 in the morning on my computer which I will now transfer to here ---can you swear in blogs?? ----United Flight 847
AHHHHH
We still have 5 hours and twenty minutes.....okay...after three hours I was like, I can do this, its easy! I have all this room, all these movies...I ate dinner...and now, after my second movie...ummm...the whole plane is happily in dreamland and we haven't even reached the top of Brazil!! This is intense, and I lost my fucking pen somewhere between here (Venezuela) and the Dominican Republic and I really wanted to write and I just went on a mission under the seats and under the feet of the people fast asleep in front and behind of me trying to see where it went!! I even considered stealing one from one of the passengers dormido...Its disappeared, plus its not even mine, I borrowed it from the flight attendant when I first got on and she handed it to me with this stern look on her face, "I better get this back..." And She just walked up and down the aisle with a flashlight to check on our "seatbelts" or maybe trying to find me to get the pen back, but I quickly assumed the position of throwing my head back against the window and playing dead, or asleep....but on the plus side I just found the Ambien in my bag after looking for the mysterious pen.....but on the down side, the lady who walked by my seat while I was in the middle of the movie probably every ten minutes with a pitcher of water asking if I was thirsty and consistently waved away, hasn't shown up during this whole investigation and I'm guessing shes not coming back anytime soon cause the pilot just told everyone to put their seatbelts on and so she has to sit in the back, and I don't want to walk back there and find the other flight attendant (owner of the short black pen now rolling down the aisle somewhere)...but I can't go to the middle cabin to those flight attendants because they attend a "different class," and we have been asked not to cross the curtain.....ahhh....still in Venezuela, still 5 hours and nine minutes!!!!!!!!
And I can't even swallow this pill alone because the air is fucking dry on the plane that my mouth is now a massive cotton ball.
I might be going delirious, I just did a little dance in my seat during the chorus of the Regina Spektor song "that time," would be embarrassing but everyone else is alseep....I could probably stand up and dance along the aisles and no one would notice, not even the flight attendants cause they're hidden in the back...only I would be caught once the minor turbulence gets worse and knocks me over.....I'm hungry,,,,I might eat my magazine....I've seen people do that before, eat paper...can't be bad..right? damn this computer light is starting to give me a headache, its the brightest star ever in this dark plane haha what??....Distance traveled: 2626 miles........Apres Moi le deluge....but I have to sleep or I'll ruin my sleep pattern for the week basically..........aaahhh WHERE IS WATER LADY!!? What are the chances of me pressing the attendant light and pen lady coming back here?? I wish there was like a phone, and i could page WATER LADY PLEASE COME TO 24K....damn i wish i brought that salad on the plane from earlier....mmmm apples, goat cheese, raisins, turkey, and spinach greens.....mmmmmmm..i hope this Mirka lady eats goat cheese...but she is a vegetarian and I'm guessing they love goats....i actually don't even care for the cheese, only on my salads....this is ridiculous...WATER I'm dying here!!! Fuck everyone and fuck their eyemasks......AHHH YES!!! They turned the seatbelt sign off....now i just have to wait, its like timed or something, she should be coming with that water annnnnyyy minute now......okay I have a clear view of pen lady....shes hanging out, i'm making a run for it....be back
okay...got a massive cup of water, I hope I don't pass out and end up pissing my pants....that would just be the worst thing...I think I've been caught, as I walked away with my water I could've sworn I overheard Water Lady whisper to Pen Lady, "you should just ask for it back.." well too bad ca
use I just took my Ambien and will hopefully be unavailable for the remainder of the flight.....Andrea signing off...somewhere at the northern tip of Brazil.
Okay so 5173 miles have been traveled and we are now fifteen minutes to our destination....I'm bleary.....freezing...poofy,,,,but i slept the whole way after a brief hallucination* earlier, but we can talk about that another time....talk to you on the ground!!
*I'm kind of pissed because I have no recollection of that hallucination and am dying to know what it was!!!
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